Mystical Groceries

Why do grocery stores play such emotional music; songs that build in ever increasing crescendos to a climatic fevered pitch? Does hearing You Light Up My Life inspire people to buy more chocolate? Or does the sound of I Did It My Way justify buying a 50-pound bag of potatoes, the Titanic size Coke, and a bouquet of slightly wilting flowers as an act of independence? As we brush away a tear to the strains of You’ve Lost that Lovin Feeling do we quickly reach for a bottle of wine? Does Unchained Melody make us hunger for the touch of BOUNCE fabric softer? Or swept away with Ebb Tide do I give into the urge to throw unrecognizable produce into my cart, spending with complete abandon? Did Soul and Inspiration instill this sudden feeling of undying devotion to Smart Balance peanut butter, which is now not to be found on the shelves? Ah, never mind reasons, all I know is that once I have triumphantly passed through the straits of the check-out lane and those electric doors have parted for me like the Red Sea - I can Climb Every Mountain and afford everything in these bags.